RIDING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE FENCE.
Having dealt with the who owns Imposter a.k.a. Trouble issue, Smoky and I were out somewhere on the West range moving about 120 Brahma Mamas and their babies to greener pastures. In the distance, one of the drag riders spotted a cloud of dust approaching, led by several fast moving riders. The herd was moving along nicely and not wanting anything to change that, one of our crew moved off to intercept the riders before they riled the herd. Once intercepted, the conversation quickly became louder and more animated, causing the ranch owner to join the discussion.
“I’d say the boss is going to want us over there” commented Smoky. Sure enough, not ten seconds later, the radio crackled to life and I was invited to join the ‘discussion’.
“So much for not working…” I said as we headed over. The riders were led by a young man (‘man’ used loosely here) dressed in what could only be described as a matador’s costume, the jacket and matching pants made out of red velvet, with gold trim. His shirt was ruffled around the collar and sleeves and his matching sombrero featured little gold tassels hanging around the brim that danced about, sparkling in the sunlight - quite a sight!
The matching holster, trimmed in red and gold, held a gold plated .22 was just too much for my ever opinionated horse who couldn’t resist uttering “oh, gag me”!
The short summary of the conversation was: riders led by Loucat Meee, intercepted by our crew member, Oman Ubig. Oman is your typical 6’7”, 324 pound cowboy who splits the seams of his shirts when he flexes his biceps. Oman moves cattle by simply picking them up - but, I digress. Oman asks if they need help; Loucat - no, just exploring their land; Oman - land belongs to the Let Sleeping Dogs Lie ranch, must leave; Loucat - no one tells him what to do; Oman - gotta leave; Loucat - buzz off; Oman - leave now; Loucat - make me; Oman - casually reaches over, grabs Loucat by his red velvet jacket, lifts him off the saddle like a small sack of grain, dangles him about 2 feet above saddle; Ranch owner, Bigga Boz, get there; says Oman put kid down; Oman drops kid onto saddle; Resulting thud loud enough to be heard by all; Bigga - my land, should not be here, could get hurt; Must leave; Loucat - not marked, can do whatever he wants; Bigga - land fenced; Loucat - not so, buzz off.
I get there. “Son, you and your lady friends are trespassing on Mr. Boz’s land. He’s told you to leave, you need to leave, now.”
Loucat said “Buzz off” punctuated with a few choice remarks about me, my horse as well as Oman and Boz just for good measure.
Smoky said “how about I mosey over and extract numbers 7, 8, 9 and 10 from Loucat’s Maxillary bone.” “What?” Said Boz.
“Why don’t I go over there and plant my left front hoof in his teeth… …and they say you’re the smarter species!” Smokey said, rolling his eyes for effect.
Boz looked at me, a quizzical look on his face “Smoky’s studying to become an equine dentist”I explained.
Loucat said “that’s ridiculous, who ever heard of a horse being a dentist”?
I replied “who ever heard of anyone arguing the point with a horse? Yet, here you are”.
“Buzz off all of you and your horses. Get out of my way or you will wish you had” said Loucat as he grabbed for his revolver.”
Oman, once again casually reached over and simply placed his very large hand over Loucat’s gun hand and squeezed until Loucat screamed, dropping the revolver on the ground. “Aside from Oman, have you noticed all the hardware pointed at you? Not a .22s pointed this way and they’re all loaded.” I continued “Trespass, then try to draw on the owner even though outnumbered - Not good”. Loucat, who had turned beet red from his second encounter with Oman, looked around and his beet red face turned to a pasty white color as he realizing that he was the focal point of no less than six serious looking cowboys and their equally serious looking collection of rifles and pistols. Loucat began to shake uncontrollably. “Now” I continued, “Let’s get some things straight. First, you and your young friends have committed trespass on property. Even though you might have not intended to, the fact is that you entered onto property that is not yours. That’s trespass and you can be arrested for that act.
Loucat said “There was no fence”.
Oman interrupted “I rode that fence line yesterday and it was tight as a drum”.
I continued “even if there was no fence and you really didn’t know that you were on private property, once you had notice that you were on the property without permission, not only were you trespassing but, you had an obligation to get off the property. Cutting or breaking the fence simply complicates the situation by adding destruction of property, vandalism and possibly a few other charges to your problems.” You’re looking at trespass in the 3rd degree, maybe even in the 2nd degree - not good for you.”
“Now you’re a lawyer too…” Loucat spat out.
“I was a lawyer before you got here too.” I continued “It gets worse, rather than leave, you attempted to start a gun fight. Over what? What was worth risking your lady friend’s lives for? Had Oman not done you the favor of disarming you, right about now you’d look like a piece of Swiss cheese and your lady friends safety would have been entirely dependant of how good everyone’s aim was.”
“Just letting everyone know not to mess with me” was Loucat’s self-righteous reply.
“Unlawful display, assault with a deadly weapon, possibly aggravated assault and if you’d got a shot off, reckless endangerment, maybe even attempted homicide. No doubt, the prosecutor will come up with a few more charges. Still feeling invincible?” I said, leaving out the rest of what I was thinking.
“This idiot just doesn’t get it” interjected Smoky using terms far more polite than I was thinking.
Loucat, who was once again shaking uncontrollably, stammered out a shaky “Show’s what you know. I got it.” Turning to Boz, he asked “Will you let the ladies leave? They didn’t do anything.”
“Except trespass” replied Boz “tell you what, I’ll let you all go so long as you do just that”.
Taking off his sombrero, the one with the line of little gold tassels hanging all around the brim that sparkled in the sunlight, and Looking Boz straight in the eye Loucat said “Thanks. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused.” Then looking at Smoky Loucat said “I got it”.
Gotta admit, I was stunned - for once, even Smoky was speechless.
Daniel Rosenfield’s practice in equine and ranch matters is enhanced by his experience in business law and litigation. For more information on how to deal with trespass while riding please send you request to drosen@mrbusinesslaw.com. Phone: (480) 609-9700, mrbusinesslaw.com
